Tags: London

Comfortably Dumb

Cause – Rodriguez So yesterday a couple of lights, bombs, bells and whistles exploded off in my head. It’s a been a while. Epiphany on. I was talking to a guy who asked me a simple enough question: What have you been doing lately? Rattled off the usual replies. This. That. The gibber. Grand. As
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LonDumb – Part VI (Or, Am I Being Deported?)

Jan 29, 2013Book, LA Living, Mark Hayes, Music, RanDumb, Randumb Book, RanDumber, Writing2 Comments

Continuing on from… LonDumb – Part I  LonDumb – Part II  LonDumb – Part III LonDumb – Part IV LonDumb – Part V Pompeii – Bastille Eating all that paper. Not the best preparation for a flight back to America. Customs. Fully to the fore. What if they do what they did to Kailand?! But
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LonDumb – Part V (Or… Why Did I Eat Paper?)

(Continuing on from… LonDumb – Part I LonDumb – Part II LonDumb – Part III LonDumb – Part IV) Walking On Broken Glass – Annie Lennox Pa Ranoid they might call me, if my name was Pa, Paddy, Pat or Patrick. Thankfully, it is none of the above. But I am paranoid. And I’m in a hotel lobby. On
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LonDumb – Part IV (Or… Kneed A Dwarf In The Face.)

(Continuing on from… LonDumb – Part I LonDumb – Part II LonDumb – Part III) Parklife – Blur “Want some skunk geezer?” Pardon? “Some skunk?” Do I want a skunk? “Yeah. Want to buy?” Why would I buy a skunk? “You being funny?” Am I being funny? “You is being funny, pretty boy.” Oh Jesus. So I get
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LonDumb – Part III

Dec 21, 2012Book, Ireland, LA Living, Mark Hayes, Random Ramblings, Writing8 Comments

Continuing on from LonDumb – Part I and LonDumb – Part II… Everything’s Gonna Be All Right (Oliver Nelson Remix) – Barry Manilow So I’m at Will Call. On my right, a big huge queue. Chunky as funk. Balls, I’m going to be here ages. Steward nudges me inside the line. Thank you. Actually. Is this
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LonDumb – Part II

Dec 11, 2012Mark Hayes, Random Ramblings, RanDumb, Randumb Book, RanDumber, Writing7 Comments

Continuing on from LonDumb – Part I … It’s A Long Way To Tipperary – Little Green Cars What do you call a ponder pipe that just lays around all day? Mopey Dick. Badum. My first day in London, I was moping like no other. Woke up early. Phoned the prison. Spoke to Kailand. Told me
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LonDumb – Part I

Dec 08, 2012Book, Random Ramblings, RanDumb, Randumb Book, RanDumber, Writing22 Comments

Unbelievable – EMF Cab’s outside. My clothes are still wet. What. The. Funk. Dryer mysteriously died the night before. Damp garments strewn all over my abode. Dry, funkers, dry!! Need to pack you, you and you. Need ye all for my trip to London. Vital I have that white t-shirt and that white t-shirt and
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Tropical Hayes!

Tropical Hayes!

For reasons unknown, all names shall be culled from this blogaruu. Except for mine. I’m going full on narcissistic. Tropical Hayes all the way! So it’s the day after Halloween. Actually, the night. Limo pulls up outside my abode. It’s time. Put on my private jet pants. Grab my bag. Scuttle out. Hop in. High fives.
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Hung Like A Horse!

Oct 16, 2012Hollywood, LA Living, Mark Hayes, Music, Random Ramblings, RanDumb, RanDumber, Writing1 Comments

Thrift Shop – Macklemore & Ryan Lewis It’s a Sunday night. You’re sick of talking to banterless clowns in dead bars. So you go to a liquor store. And end up down an alley. Trying to have a laugh with some homeless guy. Who’s trying to take a drink from your brown paper bag. Life.
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Jewish, Single… Ready To Mingle?!

Sep 01, 2011Hollywood, LA Living, Music, Random Ramblings, Stand-Up, Writing4 Comments

50 Ways To Leave Your Lover – Paul Simon Have you ever had to ask yourself: Am I anti-Semitic? I have. So tonight started off with myself and my buddy Chowder DJing at the London Hotel. Up on the rooftop. Pool party. Savage spot. You know the one, just featured in the last episode of
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