Category: Mark Hayes
LonDumb – Part IV (Or… Kneed A Dwarf In The Face.)
(Continuing on from… LonDumb – Part I LonDumb – Part II LonDumb – Part III) Parklife – Blur “Want some skunk geezer?” Pardon? “Some skunk?” Do I want a skunk? “Yeah. Want to buy?” Why would I buy a skunk? “You being funny?” Am I being funny? “You is being funny, pretty boy.” Oh Jesus. So I getREAD MORE
A Hollywood Christmess Story
In Dulci Jubilo – Mike Oldfield Merry Christmas RanDummies and mighty blogaruu readers! Hope you are still getting your turkey sweats on. While you do, why not enjoy this piece which I wrote for an Irish paper recently. Pants off. Trifle. On! A Hollywood Christmess Story Is that Slash? Hmm. Is he looking at me?READ MORE
LonDumb – Part III
Continuing on from LonDumb – Part I and LonDumb – Part II… Everything’s Gonna Be All Right (Oliver Nelson Remix) – Barry Manilow So I’m at Will Call. On my right, a big huge queue. Chunky as funk. Balls, I’m going to be here ages. Steward nudges me inside the line. Thank you. Actually. Is thisREAD MORE
LonDumb – Part II
Continuing on from LonDumb – Part I … It’s A Long Way To Tipperary – Little Green Cars What do you call a ponder pipe that just lays around all day? Mopey Dick. Badum. My first day in London, I was moping like no other. Woke up early. Phoned the prison. Spoke to Kailand. Told meREAD MORE
Tropical Hayes!
For reasons unknown, all names shall be culled from this blogaruu. Except for mine. I’m going full on narcissistic. Tropical Hayes all the way! So it’s the day after Halloween. Actually, the night. Limo pulls up outside my abode. It’s time. Put on my private jet pants. Grab my bag. Scuttle out. Hop in. High fives.READ MORE
Boys Town To Manhattan!
New York New York – Frank Sinatra So I land. Collect my bag. Walk out the airport doors. Cross the zebra crossing. And hear a guy stuck in traffic shouting at me out of his mini van window. “Welcome to New York, you’re going to rock it in this city, am I right?!” Before IREAD MORE
I Shot The Sheriff…
Angelina/Zooma Zooma – Louis Prima Blog. Book. Sitcom. Movie. You know the plan! Time to get phase three in action. So I write a script. Pick a scene. Let’s shoot that. What do I need? Director? Sorted. Cast? Dancing. Location? Hmm. Actually. How about the Irish coffee shop down the street from me? Especially as theREAD MORE
Hung Like A Horse!
Thrift Shop – Macklemore & Ryan Lewis It’s a Sunday night. You’re sick of talking to banterless clowns in dead bars. So you go to a liquor store. And end up down an alley. Trying to have a laugh with some homeless guy. Who’s trying to take a drink from your brown paper bag. Life.READ MORE
Stop. Press. Print!
This Must Be The Place (Viceroy Edit) – Talking Heads Mighty weekend. Went to a secret sale on Friday. Bought a pair of $200 jeans for $5. Came home. Tried them on. Drove my foot through the crotch. Down to the knee. Ripped jeans apart. Mighty. Money’s Worth Hayes, they call me. DJigged Friday andREAD MORE
Boom Boom Boom…
I Want To Know What Love Is – Foreigner Let me hear you say WeHo, WeHo! Mighty Monday was had today. Why oh why, do you say? Well, let me stop speaking in rhyming riddles and calm down a second. Now. OK. So. I’ve been going through a bit of a power ballad phase, inREAD MORE
