Man Boobs & Double Chins…

No sign of the nervous breakdown today, thankfully, but instead two funny incidents. On my way to the post office to post a few odd items back to Ireland, I saw two girls struggling to lift suitcases into their car. Being so nice and all, I stopped and asked them if they would like a hand. They were really struggling so offering was the least I could do. Nothing to do with the fact that they were good looking. At a push I would say very. Honestly, they were hot. Anyways, they were delighted I had offered, hopefully I could squeeze them in. The suitcases into the car, obviously, although I can’t think of another meaning for that sentence but seems like it should have an innuendo in there somewhere.

While I am struggling with the beast of a suitcase, I ask where they’re from… “Florida, we’re here visiting” They pick up I have an accent, where am I from, what am I doing here. I’m Irish, here trying some writing and acting plus a bit of stand-up and DJ’ing on the side, just saying it as it was, I was too busy with the suitcase to notice. “Oh my gawd, it was so nice of you to help us, can we get a photo, this is so cool?” I have seen people going nuts before for the Irish factor alone, but usually that is in little towns around California where they don’t usually get people from outside the State. Era shur, I would be delighted to take a photo with ye, cheeeeese. 

A photo is taken with each girl (brutal with names so can’t remember either). As Girl A looks at the photos, Girl B asks me when my next movie is coming out, this is so cooool!!! Eh, my next movie? I’ll let you know when the first one comes out. This is responded with a puzzled look. Girl A doesn’t like the photo with her, she’s deleting it, can I take one more with her? Sure, eh, why not, give me a look. As I take off my sunglasses to look at the photo, Girl B, who inquired about the movie, peers at me. Hang on, wait for it, there we go, a familiar look of disappointment starts to appear on her face. Once again, I would have gotten a better reaction taking off my t-shirt and revealing a set of man boobs, she is that unimpressed.

Girl B asks “Are you not that Irish actor, the one in the movies?” Girl A tells me she has deleted the photo and wants to take another one. I respond to Girl B with which actor are you on about, who do you think I am? Girl A and B are now looking at me in a different light, realizing, seeing as my sunglasses are off, that maybe they no longer think that the recognize me. “I can’t remember your name! Are you not that Irish actor, in the movies, you have a radio show too?” I presume they have not heard my brief appearances on radio shows back in Cork, and I can’t remember being in any movies, so I tell them I think they have the wrong Irish guy. 

They are not impressed, and seem like I have let them down, ruined the last part of their holiday. Should I apologize for stopping and helping them? Should I apologize for being Irish? Girl B tells Girl A to delete her photo too, it doesn’t matter now, and thanks me for helping them with the bags. We have a bit of an awkward silence, I break it by asking them for my tip for helping them with their luggage, they laugh, I jokingly say I wasn’t joking, awkward silence gets louder and I am on my way. Cheers girls, thanks for the burn, send me on those photos. Whures. I am going to grow a pair of man boobs for L.A, to gauge which reaction is worse from now on.

Earlier tonight I headed up to the gym. Strangely I was not feeling too chumpy about going twice in one day, seeing as I had DJ’ed earlier on today. I think it may be because I had gotten good feedback on the spot today, even asked for a few CD’s made. They were extremely puzzled and confused when I told them we still only used tapes back in Ireland, so that was the best I could do. Tonight, while I am at the shop buying a Red Bull, bizarrely, not really for the gym but for me in the gym, a hot girl comes up to me. She was in there earlier today, really liked the Journey remix I had played (it is mighty!).

Mucho gracias, how come you’re back here again tonight if you were here earlier, are you a chump like myself?!!! Her friend had lost her iPod here earlier she thinks, just came back with her to check. She then went on to tell me that her friend was having the worst day ever, lost the iPod, didn’t get a part in a movie she was going for, and her cat was sick. Sounded like a regular old day to me really. Again, me being nice, and as I had used the joke earlier today so was still fresh in my head, told the girl to tell her friend… Not to worry, tell her keep those chins up. Ha, I thought it was funnier earlier when I used it first time around, but I suppose I did know that girl.

However, I had never seen this girl’s friend, what she looked like, or knew who she was, no clue. The girl didn’t recognize this though, and got very offended. “Did you just say chins? As in plural?” Eh, yeah, chins, it was a joke… “What kind of joke is that? My friend is having such a bad day and you make that kind of joke? What an a-hole you are, complete a-hole”. I thought she over-reacted, a lot, until her friend came along saying there was no sign of her iPod. Then I saw why I should not have made the joke, I’ll say no more. How was I to know though, I had never seen her before in my life?!!! I personally thought the girl was quite rude herself for not saying goodbye as she stormed off, I will not be playing Journey for her next time!

(Maybe I will actually, she was pretty good looking).

Unfortunately there’s no Youtube video for the Journey remix I have, so song of the day is this remix instead… Enter Sandman (Herve Remix) by Metallica

Tags: DJ, Enter Sandman (Herve Remix), gym, Journey, Metallica