Tags: Hollywood

Hollywood Hayes

Hollywood Hayes – Regrets

  Regrets, I’ve had a few, so few I can mention them all. First, that time a girl was greeting me with a hug but I thought she was trying to kiss me so I closed my eyes and went for it/head-butted her. Second, the time I tried to bleach my hair. Finally, chugging a
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Hollywood Hayes

Hollywood Hayes – Homesick

“Do you miss Ireland? Would you ever move back? Are you homesick? Come on, move on home!” is something Irish folk (my parents) ask me all the time. My answer is always the same: Nah. Except, there were three times I did wish I was back home. Like that time I ran out of money.
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Hollywood Hayes

Hollywood Hayes – Friendly or Gay?

Hard to tell in LA if most of the sound guys who I meet out happen to be gay or if gay guys are just sound to me. That’s the trouble here trying to make friends. You try to be open but never quite sure what the ulterior motive is. Take last Saturday. I’m DJing
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Hollywood Hayes

Hollywood Hayes – Old People

You see a lot of things in West Hollywood. Today, for example, I saw a hefty, blimp shaped man wearing nothing but a long brown wig and pink thong bikini while cycling his bicycle. Always nice when you’re strolling to the shop for milk. Hardly ever see old people here, though. Not like the sweet
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Comedy Store

The Insider’s Chancer Guide to Hollywood

  (Article of mine that was in the Examiner recently ->Read on!) For the sake of your holiday needs, I’m just going to assume you’re single/a young couple/just married and bored already thinking oh no I thought this would make my life more interesting but no/married with kids and wondering where it all went wrong
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Christmas Dog

Christmas Clown

Blue Christmas – Elvis I’m like a dog. Pavlov’s one. Conditioned to beg or eat or do something every time he heard a bell. Except my bell is Christmas. And I’m conditioned to have a laugh. I blame Ireland. Don’t think I’ve ever had a bad Christmas back in Ireland. From growing up as a
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Eye Twitch

Date Ape

Not a fan of dates. Many reasons. Here are a few: So. It’s Christmas Eve babe and I’m not in the drunk tank. Yet. I am on a date though. Christmas. Eve. Babe. What else would you be doing. Eve, the girl I’m on a date with, is looking unreal. Savage dress. Best I’ve seen. Special
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Mark Hayes Irish Independent

LA State of Mind (And Body)

http://www.independent.ie/entertainment/movies/mind-and-body-you-can-always-look-better-in-la-30524320.html So, one minute you’re at Starbucks in Beverly Hills waiting in line for your skinny café mocha frappe latte gibber, listening to two beautiful girls in tight yoga apple bottom pants talk to each other with their big voluptuous lips about how one uses cider vinegar in her beautiful blond hair and the other
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I Want To Be The Best

http://www.independent.ie/opinion/your-voice/first-person-mark-hayes-i-want-to-be-the-best-30457187.html When I was a young wee lad making my way in the real capital of Ireland, Cork, boy, I had little to no clue what I wanted to be when I grew up. Besides the best, obviously. The question was, the best at what? For a while I thought I was going to lead
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Mark Hayes Examiner

Summer Time Hayes

http://www.irishexaminer.com/lifestyle/features/mark-hayes-feeling-the-pressure-to-get-a-beach-ready-body-278040.html So I’m at a hotel pool party in West Hollywood. To my right: Hollywood hills. To my left: Downtown L.A. All around me: Models. Beauties. Brutes. Half naked bodies, half drunk girls, fully flexing guys. All perfectly sculpted. Breasts, pecs and high heels. Wonderful. Along with me, a pasty white, almost burnt Irish guy
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