Tags: Mark Hayes
Women Are From Nuts. Men Are From Morons!
Sun Of A Gun – Oh Land Tough old week. Got chased by an angry snarling Alsatian. Not sure. But. Might be related to the previous blog? Speaking of which. Quiet on the blogaruu. My bad. Very busy doing highly important things. Such as… Walking into people. Rushing for the bathroom. Power striding. Bladder bursting.READ MORE
Jiggling Jugs!
No Diggity – Chet Faker Tough week. Realised a few things. Such as: My ability to make women puke is still going strong. Take yesterday. Setting up to DJig. Girl comes over to me. Big. Drunk. Mexican. (Big as in overweight. Drunk as in demented. Mexican as in Meximerican.) Stands in front of me. StartsREAD MORE
The Not So Typical Day Of An Irish Guy In LA…
Starlight – The Supermen Lovers Last Friday I had an early morning interview with the Sunday Independent (Irish newspaper). Feature of some sort. Not too sure what it was for. Either way. Mighty stuff. Good to go. Wake up. Answer the phone. How’s it going. First question. Only question. Eh. Balls. I don’t know theREAD MORE
More On! Moron…
If You Got The Money – Jamie T Did you know… Book two is in full flow? Well. Maybe not full flow as in I’m gushing. But full flow as in I’m beyond leaking. No looking back. Not sure why I got so hung up on the flow metaphor. Not even that time of theREAD MORE
Watch Me Wow!
Short film of Randumb book whuring at the LA Book Festival. Mighty dancing. Imagine: This went on for hours! Amazing. Filum on! P.S Apparently you can call anything a short film these days.
Shamwow To Look Now!
We Are The People (Jimmy2sox Remix) – Empire Of The Sun Two years ago I went to my first fair in LA. As a Shamwow salesman. Obviously. Sold my first Shamwow to a Neo-Nazi. Mighty. Also did a bit of moonlighting as a carny. We all have a dark past. Exactly two years later, I went to myREAD MORE
If The Mountain Won’t Come To The Prophidiot…
Woke Up New – Mountain Goats You know when you’re lost in a valley of mountains. You’re standing at the foot of one of the mountains. And you’re all like… What the funk?! I just climbed a mountain. Seriously. Just did it. Look! And everyone looks as you point to the smaller mountain behind you…READ MORE
So There I Was… P’Peuu Pe’Peww!
Got Some Teeth – Obie Trice So there I was… DJigging. Rodeo Drive. Ivanka Trump party. Showcasing her new jewelry collection. Diamonds crusts everywhere. Swanky. Classy. Plus. Me. Suited. Booted. Looking slick at least. Kitted out in my mighty Reiss suit. Perk of DJigging fashion events. Free clothes! Dancing. Although. Tad tight. Slim-fit-as-funk kind of tight suit. Anyways.READ MORE
How Did Stella Get Her Groove Back… ?
Lisztomania (Alex Metric Remix) – Phoenix Just got back from DJigging a big charity event. Also known as a D lister party. D-listers. D-lusters. Reality show heads. Famous ex-wives. People in commercials. Rich old men. Young empty women. Desperate older women, out looking for husbands. Empty. Vapid. Fake. Gift bags. Mighty fun! Thank funk IREAD MORE
The Ultimate Randumb Experience!
I Can’t Go For That (Member’s Only Remix) – Halls & Oates Earlier today I saw an offer from an author on Twitter. Buy my book in bulk. Get an experience in return. Buy 75 books: Get a personalised thank you video. Buy 350 books: Have a one hour chat with me on Skype. ThatREAD MORE
