Tags: Randumb

LonDumb – Part VI (Or, Am I Being Deported?)

Jan 29, 2013Book, LA Living, Mark Hayes, Music, RanDumb, Randumb Book, RanDumber, Writing2 Comments

Continuing on from… LonDumb – Part I  LonDumb – Part II  LonDumb – Part III LonDumb – Part IV LonDumb – Part V Pompeii – Bastille Eating all that paper. Not the best preparation for a flight back to America. Customs. Fully to the fore. What if they do what they did to Kailand?! But
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LonDumb – Part V (Or… Why Did I Eat Paper?)

(Continuing on from… LonDumb – Part I LonDumb – Part II LonDumb – Part III LonDumb – Part IV) Walking On Broken Glass – Annie Lennox Pa Ranoid they might call me, if my name was Pa, Paddy, Pat or Patrick. Thankfully, it is none of the above. But I am paranoid. And I’m in a hotel lobby. On
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LonDumb – Part IV (Or… Kneed A Dwarf In The Face.)

(Continuing on from… LonDumb – Part I LonDumb – Part II LonDumb – Part III) Parklife – Blur “Want some skunk geezer?” Pardon? “Some skunk?” Do I want a skunk? “Yeah. Want to buy?” Why would I buy a skunk? “You being funny?” Am I being funny? “You is being funny, pretty boy.” Oh Jesus. So I get
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A Hollywood Christmess Story

In Dulci Jubilo – Mike Oldfield Merry Christmas RanDummies and mighty blogaruu readers! Hope you are still getting your turkey sweats on. While you do, why not enjoy this piece which I wrote for an Irish paper recently. Pants off. Trifle. On! A Hollywood Christmess Story Is that Slash? Hmm. Is he looking at me?
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LonDumb – Part II

Dec 11, 2012Mark Hayes, Random Ramblings, RanDumb, Randumb Book, RanDumber, Writing7 Comments

Continuing on from LonDumb – Part I … It’s A Long Way To Tipperary – Little Green Cars What do you call a ponder pipe that just lays around all day? Mopey Dick. Badum. My first day in London, I was moping like no other. Woke up early. Phoned the prison. Spoke to Kailand. Told me
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LonDumb – Part I

Dec 08, 2012Book, Random Ramblings, RanDumb, Randumb Book, RanDumber, Writing22 Comments

Unbelievable – EMF Cab’s outside. My clothes are still wet. What. The. Funk. Dryer mysteriously died the night before. Damp garments strewn all over my abode. Dry, funkers, dry!! Need to pack you, you and you. Need ye all for my trip to London. Vital I have that white t-shirt and that white t-shirt and
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Tropical Hayes!

Tropical Hayes!

For reasons unknown, all names shall be culled from this blogaruu. Except for mine. I’m going full on narcissistic. Tropical Hayes all the way! So it’s the day after Halloween. Actually, the night. Limo pulls up outside my abode. It’s time. Put on my private jet pants. Grab my bag. Scuttle out. Hop in. High fives.
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Boys Town To Manhattan!

New York New York – Frank Sinatra So I land. Collect my bag. Walk out the airport doors. Cross the zebra crossing. And hear a guy stuck in traffic shouting at me out of his mini van window. “Welcome to New York, you’re going to rock it in this city, am I right?!” Before I
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I Shot The Sheriff…

Angelina/Zooma Zooma – Louis Prima Blog. Book. Sitcom. Movie. You know the plan! Time to get phase three in action. So I write a script. Pick a scene. Let’s shoot that. What do I need? Director? Sorted. Cast? Dancing. Location? Hmm. Actually. How about the Irish coffee shop down the street from me? Especially as the
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Hung Like A Horse!

Oct 16, 2012Hollywood, LA Living, Mark Hayes, Music, Random Ramblings, RanDumb, RanDumber, Writing1 Comments

Thrift Shop – Macklemore & Ryan Lewis It’s a Sunday night. You’re sick of talking to banterless clowns in dead bars. So you go to a liquor store. And end up down an alley. Trying to have a laugh with some homeless guy. Who’s trying to take a drink from your brown paper bag. Life.
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