Bang. Bang. Ba. Ng.

Roxanne – Strange Talk

Birthday. Birthmonth. Bert on! Beach. Party. Celebration. Malibu. Malibooze. Maliboobs! Paradise. Cove. Kaw. Bird. Shrimp. Wine. Cocktails. Lounge chairs. Hi life. Hello living. Drink. Glass. My. Hand. Gulp. Pause. Laugh. Another drin- Plop. Huh? Seagull. Kaw. Kaw. KAAWW! Flying. Attacking. Dropping. Dumping. Plopping. Into. Glass. Hand. Mine. Dunk. Lucky? Me!

So that was a fun birthday. Speaking of…

The Man. Back in town. Birthday. Birthweek. Bert on! Pool. Pouf. Booze. Banquets. After parties. Raspberry mules. (Be wide. Lethal. But mighty.) Mimosas. More rosé. Unreal wine. Espresso martinis. Dancing banter. Fine advice. Plan. Plot. Progress. On!

Oh yeah. Gay Pride. What a hoot. Raging parties. Neighbours went all out. Huge party. Lots of dancing. Lots of fun. Particularly all the naked frolicking going on in public. Naked thighs. Me eyes!

Watched Ireland limp about the Euros. Watched John Delaney be a clown in the Euros. Watched American TV stations give an unbiased opinion of how brutal Ireland’s soccer team are. So that was fun. Also. Isn’t it weird you never read ‘COME ON IRELAND’ the other way? COME ON THE CARPET! Ah but the supporters were fantastic… Ah stop. Almost as if they were a bit remedial and didn’t know what was going on. Moving on… What do you call a priest who gets with all the nuns? A prayer!

Not all play. Calm down. Lots of work. Standing. Upping. Writing. Reading. Scripting. DJing. Buckets. Big. Small. Fun. Fecks. Requests. Stop. Please. Just. Stop. Club. Over? WHAT?! DJ!! ALL YOUR FAULT!!! Smile. Nod. Bury. Frustration. Stomach. Ulcer. Bile. Ow. No more. Smile. Nod. Inform. You. Absolute. Idiot. Please. Funk. Off. Ahh. Now. Waaaay better. Wuu!

Also. American girls need to stop trying to introduce Irish guys to each other. Please. No interest. Either side.

Kingdom In The Sky – Kai Elle

DJigging. Big. Huge. Gay. Event. Mansion. Hollywood. Hills. Top. Old. Transformed. Heaven. Hell. Lavish. Extravagant. Angels. Dark angels. Half. Naked. Women. Men. Wings. Devils. Fire eaters. Snake holders. Stilt walkers. Trapeze? Yes please. Pool. Floating. Ball. Man. Inside. Rolling. Walking. Floating. On water. In the air. Inside. Outside. Over the top. Decked out. Crammed in. Garden area. Middel earth. Dining hall. Banquet room. Pool area. Heaven. Heavenly. Nightclub. Inside. Hell. Clothes off. Dance on!

Basically myself and my buddy Chowder DJigged a savage, lavish, extravagant event on Saturday. Heaven and Hell themed. Million dollar party. No holds barred. Obviously my appearance fee was another million on top. Oh. Bet. Sy.

Only downside was there being two bathrooms for everyone there. Holy Jesus. Experienced a unisex bathroom. Thank the Lord I’m not a woman. Those queues. Doors that lead to Narnia. Horrendous small talk. Me heart bleeds. And then the old Mexican man who is ahead of you is assumed dead seeing as he is in there so long. Only to emerge with a nonchalant look of a man too old to care about what destruction he just caused in said bathroom. And you realise that the good looking girl behind you in the queue is definitely going to think that it was all you. So that was fun.

What else is fun is all this improv I’ve been doing. At first I was not a fan. In fact. I highly disliked it. Probably as I was so self conscious. And highly crap. But now I am a fan. Left my ego at the door. Danced on. Getting better. Actually good now, you might say. Which is maybe why I am now a fan. Giddy up! Also a mighty place to mingle. Connect. Join dots. Gibber on.

Speaking of which… Tried a 5 Hour Energy drink for the first time today. Made my left eye swell up. Blinding headache. Needed to go lie down. Safe to say: Success. Highly recommend those little energy drinks to one and all.

Busy few weeks. Mulling. Milling. Figuring. Less blogaruu. More scriptsaduu. Oddly enough my scripts can ramble. Hence me using this blog to get back to being succinct. And now to end, this is quite funny…

Actually. HUGE news: I think I’ve been converted to boxer briefs. Big step. Making strides. LA is changing me every day!

Wait & See – Holy Ghost

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Tags: Beach, Bert, Big, Birthday, Birthmonth, Clown, Clowns, DJ'ing, Euros, Event, Fans, Frustration, Fun, Gay, Hollywood, Holy Ghost, Idiots, Improv, Ireland, John Delaney, Joke, Kai Elle, Kingdom In The Sky, Lavish, Malibu, Mark Hayes, Mingling, Mulling, Pride, Randumb, RanDumber, Reading, Roxanne, Scripts, Seagull, Silverlake, Song Requests, Stand-Up, Strange Talk, Support, The Adventures of an Irish Guy in LA, Wait And See, West Hollywood, Writing