Bob And Norm

Bob – Drive-By Truckers

So my buddy Bob is visiting at the moment. Two weeks in LA, first time here. Go on the Bob! Now I fully realise what it’s like to be a single parent. No longer just a randumb dope on my own. Permanent plus one as well. Juggling tour guidance with work. Detached from my own thoughts. Neglecting my mistress, el blogaruu. Tough going for a Nark like myself. Which is why I’ve now taken a vow of abstinence until marriage. Better safe than sorry. Ahum’p. Like a few of my buddies, Bob has bought my book Randumb, but hasn’t read it. Doesn’t actually admit this to me, so I like to ask him what’s his favourite part and then he changes the subject (Unless he just has no favourite part! Ha. Eh. Meh). As a result it’s fair to say he had no clue what to expect of the LA way. Bob, say goodbye to Norm…

Bob’s usual way of life involves working a 9-5. Up at 7 in the morning. Home for 8 at night. Live for the weekend. Full on. Can’t afford not to. Must party. Relax to the max. At the same time. Especially after working such long hours during the week. All of which sounds as relaxing as screaming. Back to work again on Monday morning. Typical day. Typical week. All the time. Little changes. I’ve forgotten how different it is here. Get up, whenever you set your alarm. Go to work, at all sorts of hours. Chill, a lot of the time. Relax, all the way. Party, almost every day. Along with all the perks I’ve forgotten are not actually the norm. Warm weather. Positive people. Beautiful women. Endless possibilities. Medical marijuana cards. Living the high life. Random. Dumb. Fun. The LA way!

Who Is This Patricia?

Bob has gotten to see how mental Americans are. In a good way, obviously. Besides the fact most seem to celebrate St. Patty, they do know how to go all out for an event. It is mighty. By a big long fun country mile, Paddy’s Day is bigger here than back in Ireland. Shops don’t just put up an old green balloon or two, they put up hundreds. Everyone wearing Irish. Pubs turn into fields of green. All flooded by seas of Guinness. People looking to be your Paddy. Leprechauns dancing. Shamrockers lurking. Begoras being butchered. Riverdance blaring. Just like Ireland. Except, kind of way better? Shhh. Spent the night DJigging in a bar in Hollywood. Guzzled Guinness. Threw on some Christy Moore. Someone threw me a microphone. Once again I started singing Wild Rover. Even though I only know one line of the song. Pub full of Americans didn’t care. All lip synched. Sang along. Hands in the air. Screaming out… WE’RE IRISH TOO!!! Sure ye are! Well, you know what, it’s better than ye not liking us. Giddy up, ye Amerry-Irish!

All The Single Mothers

As I’m now juggling being a single parent and the sole income earner in my household, a  lot of the time it’s been ‘Take Your Son To Work Day’. If I have something I need to do, Bob just comes along. Stand-up. Meetings. DJigs. All kinds of anything. Randumb on, Bob along. DJigging has been overflowing. 6 gigs in 4 days. Saturday tuckered poor Bob out. Early morning trip to Newport Beach for one DJig. Quickly followed by another jig in Santa Monica. Wrapped up with one more that night in West Hollywood. Then back up 6 hours later for another early fashion gig. Fun fun. Money on. Hopefully I’ll be able to afford a full-time nanny soon. Haven’t seen the gym in a week. Need to get more writing done too. Particularly as Bob is now reading Randumb and keeps asking when the sequel is out. Kids these days. Always wanting more. Tut. (And just in case you were wondering yourself, as I told Bob earlier… Don’t worry son, it’s on the way. Now. Finish your carrots.) At least this week will be a bit structured. Back to the norm. You know, private jets to Miami and all. Giddy up!!! Norm off. Randumb on!

Wild Rover – Dubliners

Lord Of The Dance – Enya

Tags: Boozing, Dancing, Enya, Fun, Hollywood, Host, Ireland, LA, Lord Of The Dance, Miami, Paddy's Day, Patty, Private Jet, Single Parent, Tour Guide