Busy, Fool? Nope. Pity Fool.

Apr 02, 20100 CommentsUncategorized

White pudding. Black pudding. Slightly different. At the same time. Both pudding. Today reminded me of this fact. Lined up to be a mighty day. By mighty, I mean productive. Being an ediot looks like it could be over. For the time being. Final edits of the book emailed in yesterday. Probably no more. That’s it. I think. Done. Should be it. Should be dancing. Should be good to go. So. Then. Now. What? Crutch has been taken away from me. No longer am I… finishing off the book. Finished. Walking free. Crutch-less. World is my oyster. Time to plough on. Time to get going on the next step. I know what I must do. So. Then. Go? Into the abyss. Determined to fend off the black abyss. The unknown. Just change its name. Not a black abyss of nothing. Endless possibilities of what to do next! White abyss! Here I come!!! Here I… Oh Jesus. Drifting. Don’t know what to do. White. Black. Pot. Tom. Ate. Toe. Lost.

I Think I'm Learning Japanese

Woke up with such high hopes as well. Good night of DJ’igging last night. Slick bar in a savage hotel. Sky Bar. Outdoor by the pool, views of all LA from the DJ booth, glistening, lights, setting, savage, ridick… all that. Went well. Finished up. Went home. Determined. Continue on tomorrow. Bouncing into the 26 items on my to-do list! Productive on! Wake up. First thing penciled in to do… not happening it seems. Meeting changed. Ok. No worries. Still 25 more things to do. Next big thing on the list… do I still have that thing after lunch? Let me check… no, actually changed to next week. Oh. Ok. Funk. Not to worry. Plenty more. White abyss. Endless. Bountiful. So much to do. First. I’ll just watch some of this match online. The one involving a team I don’t like. With Japanese commentary. Let’s watch this first. Then I’ll get my plough on. So much to do. So I’ll do nothing. Great work. Great morning.

Lord Rent Boy

Let’s see what’s next on my list… shoot my head. Emm. I do need head shots it seems. Manager. Agent. All those possibilities. All asking for a photo of my head. Balls. Must wrangle some of them. Preferably for free. My head feels a bit sore today after DJ’igging last night. Free is not looking likely today either. Let’s come back to that. Next… Write a spec script. Emm. I do need to write a spec script. Man. Age. Possibilities. All asking to see one. My head is a bit empty today as well. Not sure if I can churn one out so quickly after being an ediot. I’ll come back to that too. Excuses, how are ye cutting?

What else? There’s that… no, need something more solid than that… next… no, a bit too far down the to-do list to do today… next… balls. All speculative. Anything definite on the list I can do? Anything involving the influx of cash? Need to try and balance the outflow. Especially now that I have my man period again. Time of the month. Worst time. Only time. I really care about money. Only concern. Rent. Boy. I am not a fan. Although. Besides landlords. Who is? 

Toilet Tumbling

At least I crossed that off the to-do list. Along with… Go to the bank. Managed to do that too. All by myself. Yay. Walked there… All by myself. Yay. Clap hands. Pat my head. Go me, go-me! Dominating the white abyss! Oh. And, I also crossed off… Buy bread. Eventually. Went to the shop, specifically to buy bread. Decided while I was there, that I’d get some yogurts as well. Half way home. Eating my apple. Looked down at my yogurts. Realised. Funk. Forgot the bread. Back I go. Same thing happened the other day when I went to get milk. Once bitten, twice shy… does not seem to apply. 

Quite the productive day. Flying out my ears. Looking everywhere for crutches… what can I do?! Surely there’s something innocuous and meaningless that I can do to fool myself that I was being productive?! Laundry… ? Balls, did that yesterday. Food shopping… ? Nope, did a big one on Monday. Surely there’s something to get me through the day? Let me be a busy fool! April Fool’s after all! A fool’s day to shine. Shine I did. Not. Although I pity the fool that fell off the toilet at one stage. Not me or anything. Obviously. Moving on…


I suppose I did see a girl get thrown into a pool. Fully clothed. That was fun, to be true. And by see, I mean throw. Wasn’t really on my to-do list though. So that was just a side bonus. Not really productive. At least one good thing happened soon after. Day. Killed. Turned into night. If only days had the same feel as night. I can fool myself far easier at night that I’m being productive. Gym, let’s dance! Blogaruu, let’s scribble! Now. Two things at least. Worked out. Ish. And wrote. Gibberish. Fooling a fool. Watching a match in Japanese wasn’t the most productive thing after all!

On the optimistic side of things. Just one day wasted. There is always tomorrow. Good Friday of the Easter weekend. Productive written all over it! Oddly. May actually involve a game of folf. Highly productive! Then again. That may also just be a wind-up. Me shall see. Until then, I am going to plot an interesting idea put in front of me tonight. Movies have trailers. Why not books… ? Time to fill up the whack abyss!

Good Ol’ Fashioned Nightmare – Matt & Kim

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