Hung Like A Horse!

Thrift Shop – Macklemore & Ryan Lewis

It’s a Sunday night. You’re sick of talking to banterless clowns in dead bars. So you go to a liquor store. And end up down an alley. Trying to have a laugh with some homeless guy. Who’s trying to take a drink from your brown paper bag. Life. Going. Well. Wake up the next day. Look in the mirror. Shake your head. Slap your soul. Say no more. Time to cop on.

Now obviously none of that actually happened. Ahem. However. Ever since that night, I haven’t boozed a drop. Not a sniff. Not a touch. Not a smell. Nothing more. Four weeks and counting. Booze off. Work. On.

Surprisingly, far easier than I anticipated. Thought it might be tough going dealing with clowns while DJing but stick a Red Bull in the system and you’re as dancing as ever. Obviously numerous advantages to this non-boozing too. Such as, the lack of hangovers. Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning, a whole new feeling. Even the lack of mysterious grogginess felt after you’ve only had one or two drinks the night before – Gone. Now refreshed. Clear headed. Raring to go. Thank funk too. No time to be hungover.

Coinciding with a lack of booze, has been an immense amount of work. From an intense trip down the well to get a show bible written, to starting an edit of book three, to planning trips to New York, the Caribbean and London, to setting up meetings in various places, to booking stand up shows here there and everywhere, to meeting producers, to greeting directors, to lining up actors, to gibbering on, to shooting a music video, to traveling all over for DJ jigs, to doing double shifts, to them blurring into quadruple ones, to getting a haircut, to brushing my teeth, to washing my socks, to writing this blogaruu, it has been pretty full on. Look. A hair was cut…

Not that I’m complaining with all this work. Gem drops all over. Like Saturday. DJing a fashion show in Laguna Beach. First time down there. Quite. Mighty. If you’re in California, you should go drive through it at least. Might see the likes of this…

Also recommend DJing fashion events if you ever get the chance. Good money. Don’t have to actually play too many songs. All picked out beforehand. And, oh yeah, models. Everywhere. So I do the run through. Place looks cool. Look. See…

Models come out. Do the walkthrough. OK. Good to go. And. We’re ready. Start. Music comes on. Models come out. Start getting their strut on. And then I realise it’s actually a lingerie show, for the most part. Clothes off. Victori-a on. As a man might say. Fine views, as plenty of people are pointing out to me (mostly women too). Laguna Beach. Highly recommended.

Anyway, my point was… No clue. Oh yeah. I’ve been working like a horse. Full steam. Non stop. All good. Plough on! On the downside, I’m now feeling pretty goosed. Today someone thought I had a hangover. Nay. Just tired, I told them. Working like a horse, I winked knowingly. All work and no play must make me look hungover, I added. You could say… I’m hung like a horse! Wahey! He didn’t get it. But he did try to give me his number. So that was awkward. No more small talk in my building elevator for me. Another neighbour I must now dodge. And on that note, how about a fine song…

Can’t Hold Us – Macklemore & Ryan Lewis

Tags: Booze, Bum, Can't Hold Us, Caribbean, Comedian, Comic, Cork, Directing, DJ'ing, Drinking, Duu, Fashion Show, Filming, Guy, Hayes, Hollywood, Homeless, Horse, Hung, hungover, Irish, L.A, Laguna Beach, Lingerie, London, Macklemore and Ryan Lewis, Mark, Mark Hayes, Music, New York, Producing, Randumb, RanDumb Book, RanDumber, RanDumber Book, Shooting, Sober, Stand-Up, Thrift Shop, Victoria Secret, Video, Working, Writer, Writing