Category: Irish Examiner

Hollywood Hayes

Hollywood Hayes – Regrets

  Regrets, I’ve had a few, so few I can mention them all. First, that time a girl was greeting me with a hug but I thought she was trying to kiss me so I closed my eyes and went for it/head-butted her. Second, the time I tried to bleach my hair. Finally, chugging a
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Hollywood Hayes

Hollywood Hayes – Pikeys

  My uncle Frank told me a story about how one day his trailer was stolen from his house in Tipperary. Frank phoned the police. Made a report. Few days later two guys showed up at his door asking him if he wants to buy a trailer – The very trailer that was stolen. Not
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Hollywood Hayes

Hollywood Hayes – Homesick

“Do you miss Ireland? Would you ever move back? Are you homesick? Come on, move on home!” is something Irish folk (my parents) ask me all the time. My answer is always the same: Nah. Except, there were three times I did wish I was back home. Like that time I ran out of money.
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Hollywood Hayes

Hollywood Hayes – Friendly or Gay?

Hard to tell in LA if most of the sound guys who I meet out happen to be gay or if gay guys are just sound to me. That’s the trouble here trying to make friends. You try to be open but never quite sure what the ulterior motive is. Take last Saturday. I’m DJing
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Hollywood Hayes

Hollywood Hayes – Old People

You see a lot of things in West Hollywood. Today, for example, I saw a hefty, blimp shaped man wearing nothing but a long brown wig and pink thong bikini while cycling his bicycle. Always nice when you’re strolling to the shop for milk. Hardly ever see old people here, though. Not like the sweet
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Hollywood Hayes

Hollywood Hayes – Crazy People

“How long until this person goes crazy on me?” is a fun game I like to play in LA. Usually not too long at all which is why it feels like you’re constantly living on the edge here. Crazy people roaming like zombies. Once met an older, shoeless Gene Wilder looking guy at a coffee
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