Category: Acting

Hollywood Hayes

Hollywood Hayes – Homesick

“Do you miss Ireland? Would you ever move back? Are you homesick? Come on, move on home!” is something Irish folk (my parents) ask me all the time. My answer is always the same: Nah. Except, there were three times I did wish I was back home. Like that time I ran out of money.
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Hollywood Hayes

Hollywood Hayes – Friendly or Gay?

Hard to tell in LA if most of the sound guys who I meet out happen to be gay or if gay guys are just sound to me. That’s the trouble here trying to make friends. You try to be open but never quite sure what the ulterior motive is. Take last Saturday. I’m DJing
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Hollywood Hayes

Hollywood Hayes – Old People

You see a lot of things in West Hollywood. Today, for example, I saw a hefty, blimp shaped man wearing nothing but a long brown wig and pink thong bikini while cycling his bicycle. Always nice when you’re strolling to the shop for milk. Hardly ever see old people here, though. Not like the sweet
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Hollywood Hayes

Hollywood Hayes – Crazy People

“How long until this person goes crazy on me?” is a fun game I like to play in LA. Usually not too long at all which is why it feels like you’re constantly living on the edge here. Crazy people roaming like zombies. Once met an older, shoeless Gene Wilder looking guy at a coffee
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Hollywood Hayes

Hollywood Hayes – Eviction

So, great news: I’m being evicted. Nice. Got an eviction notice yesterday from my landlord. Happy days. Apparently putting your spare room up on AirBnB while your roommate is away for a few months is frowned upon in West Hollywood nowadays. Even though we were told it was OK. I blame the building manager. Let’s
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Comedy Store

The Insider’s Chancer Guide to Hollywood

  (Article of mine that was in the Examiner recently ->Read on!) For the sake of your holiday needs, I’m just going to assume you’re single/a young couple/just married and bored already thinking oh no I thought this would make my life more interesting but no/married with kids and wondering where it all went wrong
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Eye Twitch

Date Ape

Not a fan of dates. Many reasons. Here are a few: So. It’s Christmas Eve babe and I’m not in the drunk tank. Yet. I am on a date though. Christmas. Eve. Babe. What else would you be doing. Eve, the girl I’m on a date with, is looking unreal. Savage dress. Best I’ve seen. Special
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Mark Hayes Irish Independent

LA State of Mind (And Body)

http://www.independent.ie/entertainment/movies/mind-and-body-you-can-always-look-better-in-la-30524320.html So, one minute you’re at Starbucks in Beverly Hills waiting in line for your skinny café mocha frappe latte gibber, listening to two beautiful girls in tight yoga apple bottom pants talk to each other with their big voluptuous lips about how one uses cider vinegar in her beautiful blond hair and the other
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Mark Hayes Examiner

Summer Time Hayes

http://www.irishexaminer.com/lifestyle/features/mark-hayes-feeling-the-pressure-to-get-a-beach-ready-body-278040.html So I’m at a hotel pool party in West Hollywood. To my right: Hollywood hills. To my left: Downtown L.A. All around me: Models. Beauties. Brutes. Half naked bodies, half drunk girls, fully flexing guys. All perfectly sculpted. Breasts, pecs and high heels. Wonderful. Along with me, a pasty white, almost burnt Irish guy
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PreDumb

PreDumb Out Now Unofficially On The QT

In case you didn’t know, my new book PreDumb: Before I Came to LA is now out, online so far at least. Amazon, Barnes & Noble, all the usual haunts. Click on the links to go forth and have a gander. Otherwise go into your nearest book store and demand the speed up their orders.
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